Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
