I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My ass is underappreciated
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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