Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
