You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
