even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
