So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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