she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
