i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
