If i come over, it means nothing
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i jhust puked up my retainher.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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