You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
