she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Less talking, more tequila
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
