Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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