Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize