I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
