Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
