We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
