watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
