He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
