happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
