ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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