ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
