The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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