8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
