Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
