i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Panties = found
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
