After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
