oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
