it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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