I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I need a beard to bite.
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