my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I just cut my nipple shaving
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
