Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize