The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
