oh god the rape fog is back!
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
