you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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