Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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