Little spoons don't ask big questions
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize