You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
