Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize