i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize