You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
