i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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