I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize