I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
