But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize