Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
