We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
