@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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