States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
third nipple confirmed
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
