I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
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