i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I need water and some morals
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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