I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
