Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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