I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
