Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
