Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
She said her name was "party"
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
