No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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