...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
