He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
