Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
