I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
