First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize