i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
