I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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