You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
