Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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