Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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