Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Randomize
