i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Randomize
