I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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