How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
