Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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