Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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