i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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