Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
