): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
