We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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