One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
