Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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