would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
