How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize
