He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
