Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
