she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
