weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize