Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
