covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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