the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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