It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
