Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Randomize
