How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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