I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
