So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
