i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
