just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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