If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
