Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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